Despite some reports claiming that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck still spend a lot of time together – much to the dismay of his new wife, Jennifer Lopez – the 13 Going on 30 actress is now apparently opening up to her friends about how “rough” her marriage to the Gone Girl actor was.

Garner, 51, and Affleck, also 51, were married between June 2005 – October 2018 and share three children together: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12. And if we are to believe a recent report from Life & Style, Garner wants to tell her side of the story following the release of J-Lo’s controversial new album which details her relationship with Affleck in “cringe” detail.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Save the Children Illumination Gala

Jennifer Garner Reportedly Opens Up To Friends About Her Marriage To Ben Affleck

Garner actually banned her children from listening to the 54-year-old Hustlers star’s new album, This Is Me… Now, due to its “embarrassing” and steamy lyrics about their father; but will she allow them to read what she has to say about the Tender Bar actor? We can’t say for sure, but we’re certainly interested in hearing the “truth” about their marriage!

“She doesn’t think anyone knows the truth about her and Ben,” a source reportedly told Life & Style. “Nobody knows what people go through, or how much she shielded Ben and their children. Jen is finally opening up to some friends about how rough it really was,” they added.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garne

Jennifer Garner Reportedly ‘Had To Deal’ With Ben Affleck At His ‘Worst’ While Jennifer Lopez Got The ‘Better’ Ben

The insider went on to say that the ageless Alias actress doesn’t actually hold any grudges about how things have turned out, but it is “painful” to think about.

The source explained that Garner “had to deal” with Affleck at his “worst” – perhaps in reference to his alcohol addiction – adding that she “put in the hard work, gave the unconditional love Ben needed at his lowest points.” They added: “J-Lo got the recovered, better Ben. It’s painful to think about, but Jen holds no grudges.”

To prove that Garner doesn’t hold any grudges, the insider confirmed that she and her ex “are on the same page” when it comes to co-parenting their children. They reportedly want to create the best atmosphere for their blended family, which also includes 16-year-old twins Emme and Max, who Lopez shares with ex Marc Anthony.